Bob Log #11: Random Stuff

Five Random Thoughts:

1. It's actually been a bit of a struggle the past week or two. Not because of the course work; classes are going fine. I just do not have remotely the amount of energy I had the first five weeks I was here. Lot of reasons for that. For instance, the weather and the lack of sun. Also, my insomnia has made a sterling comeback. Those things combined are not conducive to anything good. I know verywell what it's like to not get a lot of sunlight. You start playing tricks with yourself. I bought some sort of homeopathic sleep-aid (I tend to believe these things work, at least to an extent). But, just like melatonin pills, sometimes it helps, other times it does nothing.

2. I readily admit that homesickness has also made a comeback. I knew it would, but it feels visceral all the same. Much stronger and more subtle than the initial panics of my first week. I'm looking forward immensely to my return home in twenty-three days. Family. Dog. Cat. Friends. Wawa. And driving. I haven't driven a car in nearly two months now. It would beat waiting for the god damn Colchester buses.

I of course suspect, and know, that this homesickness is tied in with the problems listed in thought #1.

3. This isn't to say I don't love it here; I do. Though with the exception of London, a city I feel for whatever reason gravitationally attracted to, I know for sure I could never live in Britain forever. That's partially because the UK simply has nothing on America. But it's also just an intuition I've discovered. The question of course is: how will that affect doing schoolwork here potentially for four years?

4. It's not all gloomy of course. I have twenty-three days left in this term, and I intend to take advantage of them. Make the most of it. It's a cliche, but like a lot of virtuous cliches it's true. My Italian friend and I had a long conversation about our similar experiences since we both moved here, and it boiled down to that: Make the most of it, and don't spend too much time living in the brain. And for me that's always been fucking difficult not to do.

5. British Chinese Food is a bummer. Avoid at all costs.